The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out.
- Proverbs 20:5
About a month back, one of the professors in our department recommended in a women's group lunch that we read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. She mentioned how the book had influenced her greatly and she felt that it would influence us positively as well. Having read the first two parts of the book (it has four parts in total), I must admit that it is indeed a great recommendation. Even though the author suggests that we read only one chapter at a time and re-read each chapter before moving on to the next one, I was so engrossed in the book that I could not follow his advise. I finished the first 9 chapter in the last two days, because I just could not put the book down.
Truth be told, I already feel like a better and happier person. I haven't made an extensive attempt to apply his lessons, but sub-consciously those lessons have already applied themselves to my being. I have smiled more, laughed more, criticized less, apologized to and thanked people for some old incidents - all by just reading the book.
The book is divided into four parts -
1. Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
2. Six Ways to Make People Like You
3. How to Win People to Your way of Thinking
4. Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Though, to my understanding, it appears that it can be divided into two broader parts which form the title -
1. How to Win Friends (Parts 1 and 2)
2. How to Influence People (Parts 3 and 4)
Having read through the first two parts in a hurry, I decided to pause and take, what appears to me, a logical break. I feel like I have covered the sections dealing with how to make friends and should learn how to apply those principles to my life before I move on to the next two sections which deal more with leadership issues rather than close personal relations. Personally, at this point of my life, I am more interested in making new friends than leading a herd.
So, for the rest of the post, I would like to summarize, for my own personal benefit, as well the benefit of anyone who stumbles across my blog, the first 9 lessons mentioned in the book. It'll be a great idea to go over them a couple of times in a week (or daily!) and make a conscious effort to apply them to each and every personal interaction we have from now on. Here we go:
1.Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. People want to feel important. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Be genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile - a simple way to make a good first impression.
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and the most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in the terms of other person's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
The way I am interpreting it is to focus on others and be nice to others. Forget about yourself, your ego, your needs and your problems for one second and experience the world in this new light.
I will try this method out for a few days and get back on the blog with my results. Cheers!
