To summarize

I will like to take this moment to very briefly state the things which should guide me where to go next, live, settle down etc. I have decided that before deciding where to settle, I will look for only two things:

1. Meaningful Labor

2. Love

If your work is motivating enough to make you wake up at 7 and come to work at 9, it is worth it, do it with all your love and dedication.

-Palak

Planting Hope

Winter is approaching slowly. I brought all the plants inside today from the balcony and potted them in bigger pots. They have plenty of space and sunlight and soil and water and air but there is this doubt. It's their first winter and I don't know if they will survive. I have somewhat a similar doubt about my life too. I dont know if I will survive the next big cold hurdle of my career as a scientist. People say that basil will be fine indoors, its a weed. It's ironic how unwanted plants grow just fine in any season without any love or care, but the prettiest of the Crotons fade fast. There are some other tiny plants in my pots. I am sure they are weeds because I did not plant them. They are tiny but sometimes they get flooded in rains and still come up nice and bright when the water dries. Sturdy little things they are! I potted them in their small separate pots too because as I told my room-mate, I don't know who they are or were they came from, now that they are in my house, they are my responsibility. I can't control their roots and if weeds are what they meant to be when they grow up, weed they will be but they will the most well-fed, well-cared for weeds anyone has ever known. My job is just to help them be who ever they are meant to be! As Guru Granth Sahib says, He who feeds the birds and trees, will not let you stay hungry. You will be loved. You will look pretty. You will survive the winter. Have faith.

My shelf of seasons

There is a shelf above my desk

I call it the shelf of seasons

It has but one treasured gift

From each of the four seasons.

From summer, it has a parrot's wing.

Glistening, green and light

When exuberance was not an offense

And pleasure was in flight!

From Autumn, it has the cone

Fallen from an ageing pine,

A tribute to his humble land

To his lady, his rhine!

From the winter, it has a dried twig,

Which holds in it a fire,

To some it is a life well-lived,

To some it is a pyre!

At last from the spring, there's a hydrangea dry,

Still alive with its hope and scent,

Preserved still in that foot of length,

Is the memory of the year that went!

- Palak

Oct 1st 2010, CST

Lessons from the South

I am writing this from Pennington gap, VA. For the record, I have learnt all the 50 US states, their capitals and their state codes. I am not entirely sure how this will change my life, but at the moment, it felt like knowing all this was mighty important, so I did it. Something more important I learnt in this process was that I am still capable of learning new stuff, and the tricks used to help kids learn stuff apply to adults too. First, be convinced that you need to learn that which you are learning. Second, no harm in turning it into a game! Third, no harm in fantasizing about defeating others at it!

Anyway, those are not the lessons I am talking about. These are:

1. travel light. Ok, I agree that anyone who has gone anywhere ever even once in his/ her life should know this by now, but it took be a zillion trips and 24 years to really learn this. I will remember this trip as my lightest trip. This is the first time ever in my life that I have travelled without any book on me. I had two magazines which weren't heavy at all, but no books, none what so ever (nice change from the usual 60 books I love to carry). Here's something I should remember for life: When on a trip, look around, observe, understand, pick up a new word, take pictures, don't bury yourself in books. It's bad enough you have to do that for a living!

2. be yourself. Again, same old, same old advice. Again, I am sorry, took me a while to get it! Bottomline, irrespective of what goes on around you, be yourself! Don't be shy to voice your opinion, ask questions, throw a fit or whatever it takes to be yourself at that moment. That's how you'll learn about others and others will learn about you. How is pretending to be someone you are not going to help anyone in this world? Maybe if you work for the CIA or the KGP or whatever, this may not hold or you never know, it just may :)

3. travel a new path. Even if it is to the same old place, take a new road, open up your mind a bit. You may just land upon a new flower, a new leaf, a new you! Go out somewhere little far every two months. Work will take care of itself. Meetings happen every week and not just once! Go out and see the world, there is a lot of it out there and it may not be there forever.

4. sleep for 7 hours a day, make use of each and every minute of the remaining 17 hours, 10 for work (only the boring work for more than 10 hours a day, only the dull accomplish only 10 hours of work in 10 hours, the lazy just die young irrespective of when they die), 4 to take care of your body, 3 to develop your mind (hmm this one is kinda random :D)

5. believe in yourself, you are not stupid, you are not boring, you are not ugly, you are just fine as is everyone else, move on with your life, do something interesting, something new, something exciting, get on TV before you get wrinkles!! What are you waiting for! Don't waste time in trivialities, other people's opinions etc., life is too important to be wasted on all this.

6. Watch the news, read magazines, know the world around yourself, lest you be surprised when you clash with it tomorrow.

7. Know when its time to stop writing the blog and watch TV :)

Get up from ur ass and go out!

The world is yours!

The Rain!

It's raining outside. And it doesn't matter what zip code of what American state my couch is placed at, it's Bombay just outside my window. The way the water collects on the road in small puddles; the way the road light reflects off those puddles; the way the branches of tall trees bow to the supremacy of the weight of the wet tyrant; the way the window captures only a certain frame of the moment - only the puddle, the light, the bowing branch; the rest of the world is of little concern; the way the eye can capture only the splash of the water droplets on the road and not their whole path down; revealing time only moment by moment, splash by splash; its not 8th ST SE Minneapolis, its the road outside Hostel 10, IIT Bombay, Powai, Mumbai. Everything else maybe where ever it is supposed to be but that one frame is wrongly placed in space and time! It belongs to a land far far away and time not so distant in passing but unapproachable in direction, long lost to the land far far away. A frame so far and distant that the heart is tempted to believe it exists only in thought and not is matter. What may appear to the eye to be outside my window, may just be inside my heart. The tender branch of time bends under the burden of memory, like the branch of the tree outside my window bowing to the weight of the rain. The longing is so strong it creates inescapable puddles down memory lane which glisten on a rainy night. Somewhere out there wanders my heart, flipping through life frame by frame, passing though time splash by splash, until the sunlight brings it back inside.

Random Science Thoughts!

This is the curse of our generation of scientists: we can't compare the atom to plum puddings and win a Nobel Prize for it!

When Schrodinger put the cat in the box, he put all of us in it too!

Snakes and Ladder

I am convinced that life is a game of snakes and ladder. But I just stepped on something and not sure what it was! :( I'll probably know when I wake up in the morning and find myself ahead or behind my starting position. My only worry is that alas! in life, the squares are not numbered and even if they were, it's mighty difficult for the pieces on the board to see which squares they are on relative to others. In any case, the pieces are not really playing the game, even if they fall down a snake, they just all go back in the same box as other pieces. No one wins, no one loses except the hand that rolls the dice, his is the game, his is the victory, his is the loss. Boldly I step on the next square, snake or a ladder or just another board-filler, may the hand that rolls the dice for me, win the game, I wish to climb up to the end of the board, before I retire to the box!

Sprung!

I saw a magic today!

It brought a dead tree to life!

All vert, and vibrant and fresh!

The world was the hat and the seed was placed it in,

blatantly, for all to view,

And then the silken white robe was lift

And there it was, for all to view,

A carpet of green pulled over the dead tree!

It was hard to say whether it was life-giving

Or it was life!

What was indisputable was the magic!

It happened!

Right there, today, for all to view!

The Back-pack Part 1

Fridays can be the trickiest day of the week, and more so if you are in the CEMS department at Minnesota. See, unlike the other God-fearing states, the week here begins at Saturday morning. Cleaniness is the Godliness here! So Saturday morning goes in cleaning up the sins of the week, not all of them, just the once strewn about carelessly on your floor, and not the whole floor, just the white tiled region since it shines! Carpets are exempt from the rituals of the liturgy since the only vacuum cleaner we have is called the Dirt Devil and nothing ruins a sabbath than a boostful Satan. A little dirt here and there never hurt anyone. Anyways, so the week starts on Saturday, with cleaning, inter-continental calling, cooking and moves out slowly to the reading of the sacred texts, popularly known as Assignments. Again, unlike other God-fearing states, in Minnesota, the so-called Assignments are not as much things to be done as they are things to be read. Neither the Father, nor the Son, nor the Holy Ghost dare do them. After a long life-threatening collection of 6 days and 17 hours and 30 minutes, the week finally ends on Friday at 5:30 pm. Now comes the hour of judgement: how to make the most of the weekend? Some people check on their 32 inch TV, just to make sure if it still works this week, some check out all the ways vegetables can be mixed with spices at different geographic locations within a radius of 1 mile from their house, others try to show off how they been through many tragic things in life like Gradschool but still not lost their cultured side. Well, it was one of those Fridays as usual and a bunch of us decided to totally stay away from the opposite sex (except George Clooney,duh) and rose from the depths of the Gradlounge and went Up in the Air.

The seats were comfortable and designed perfectly for a normal-sized man and his giant glass of coke. If you and your glass of coke dont fit into the seats, it is time to shed some pounds. But if you are one of those who enjoy gaining weight on a daily basis, America is the place for you. The giant coke glass comes with a giant incentive, if you can finish it all, you can get a free refill!! If on the other hand, you can not finish, the theatre donates one glass of coke to India to help the state of Rajasthan with its water crisis! So, its a win-win situation: obesity or charity!

So, there we are, sitting comfortably, sipping our cokes, watching the movie and George Clooney comes and asks "How much does you life weigh?" and comes up with different ideas to fill you back-packs with: necessities, utilities, furniture, people, relationships! And there he stands and asks- So, what would you have in your back-pack?-mesmerized as we are, we open ours and shout in unison: Popcorn! Yes, we baked three bags full with us because-I dont know-glocal warming-which is global warming made local. Or we were afraid that some aliens will abduct us from the theatre and pop-corn is all that we will have to eat! Of course, thirst is not an issue, you will never been able to finish the coke glass anyways!

And the movie goes on, and I sit there and wonder what is in my back-pack? If each one of us was to be characterized just by a back-pack full of things which are important to us, what will mine look like? What will yours look like?

More on my bag tomorrow!

A small corner of my heart

What was once my rock

Is now my sheet of ice

It's my want of support

which makes me slip

The fall reveals a place I had not known yet,

Its the place where it hurts most,

It's a small corner of my heart

It's not mine to take

It's not yours to leave

It's a small corner of my heart

And Hope has left it's shadow

in a small corner of my heart

It's dark due to the light outside

It's day and Hope's out frolicking

It will come back at night

And sleep in a small corner of my heart.

- Palak

Feb 16th, 2010

Sorrow is so inspiring!