In Vacuo!

There was nothing before and possibly, there's nothing after.

What happens in the moment, then, stays in the moment.

Moments must be some sort of a vacuum.

Because any physicist will tell you, what happens in a vacuum, stays in vacuum.

And, as I just told someone today, vacuum is always good!

The place where you hide all your feelings, I bury all my dreams - in vacuo!

Ready or Not?

The thing is that:

You'll never be rich enough, tall enough, thin enough, brave enough, smart enough...

But you can not fight a war with the weapons you don't have. You have to go in with whatever you have and give it your best shot.

This is the moment. Are you ready or not?

Three things I learnt recently...

1. Nothing will happen. Why? Because nothing ever happens. Good/ bad, pretty/ugly, forward/backward - it's all crap that we build in our mind. In reality, nothing ever happens.

2. You will never know the other person's full story. Never.

3. When in trouble, go help someone else in need - nothing will ever bring greater joy than that.

Brave

What the mother of a young warrior told him before his first battle

And if you were to ever lose:

You will not cry,
You will not beg,
You will not waste
A vain minute in despair.

You will stay calm
And watch before you eyes
The story of your life
unravel.

Enthusiam vs. Skill

I just realized that I am way more excited about things than I am skilled in them. I don't know whether that is a good thing or not. Also, I am sure there is no point of bringing down excitement. It's not really the kind of excitement that leads to depression in case of unmet expectations - it's a good kind of excitement. So, I should work hard to raise my skill level - hmm, somehow that is one thing I am not so excited about! :D

Achievement has some amount of thrill attached with it. But it doesn't come easy and there's a price to pay, work to be done. The path is tough and the duration for which the excitement associated with success/achievement lasts is fleetingly tiny! If the struggle doesn't bring satisfaction, nothing will. Life has to be about that struggle - not about the fruit.

Ghosts and Bags

While walking back from the farmer's market today, I dropped 15 dollars somewhere in the small stretch between Church Street and Shepard Labs. I went to-and-fro that path a couple of times to check if the cash was lying there somewhere - but, alas, it wasn't.

I gave up on it and went back to work in CharFac. About an hour or two hours later, while finally coming back from CharFac, I walked with my eyes on the path filled with hope that maybe this time, I'll find the lost notes. No luck this time either.

While I am OK with losing a small amount of money, I am afraid that from today onwards every time I walk back from CharFac to Amundson, I'll look down at the path hoping to find my lost cash. Sometimes I'll spot a leaf or some other green piece of paper and it'll get my heart all pounding fast. But, the ghost of the lost cash will never come back to life.

It's so difficult to get rid of the past - the ghosts and the baggage always follow us wherever we go. Things we lost turn into ghosts, things we didn't, get locked up in baggage that we are doomed to carry with us for the rest of our life. Those are the two forms that all failures in life take up. Success like a smooth scented breeze flows away, leaving a faint fragrance for just the tiniest of the moment. Devour it then, or let the ghost follow you forever in silence.

I have to write a story about this!

Thankless jobs

I recently found myself complaining that my job is so thankless. I can't remember the last time someone said 'Thank you' to me at work. It makes me feel so worthless. Then, suddenly, I caught myself and explained: But they pay you, right?

Now that I think about it - aren't all jobs thankless? No one says 'Thank You' anymore. They pay you for it instead. And at the same time, I can't recall the last time I said 'Thank You' to my mom! Or my dad! Or Amma, dadaji, nani! Oh damn! As soon as I complaining about the nature of things, I know something is wrong with me.

While we are at it, I have fallen in love with the phrase - the nature of things. I find myself using it often. It's from Gita.There is the act, the agent of action and the result of action. The agent of action is a mere player in the grand scheme of things, because the result of action is not in his control. The act is the most important thing and my understanding of Gita is that the act takes care of itself. Whatever is destined to happen, will happen. Whatever is destined to not happen, is not going to happen. Now-a-days, whenever I find myself complaining, another thing I remind myself is that no one is at fault, it's the nature of things.

Once you accept the fact that it is indeed the nature of things, I think you have a choice - you will smile and play the part that you suddenly find yourself caught in the middle of, or you will frown.. Putting aside the number of muscles involved and what-not, the act will take care of itself, whether you smile or frown. The choice is yours.

Hmm, what was I writing about??? Ah damn, you stream of consciousness. You come uninvited and interrupt while I am working on my blog post!

Vegan cheese vs. Wild Berries

At a dinner party:

Me: The difference between Vegan cheese and wild berries is that while the latter could kill me, the former makes me want to die!

Jikku: Oh, that is brilliant. You should write it down somewhere.

And, thus...

Win and Lose

We win some, we lose some, but we'll always have ....

... the sunset

... Paris

... 50 lbs to lose

... ear piercings

... butt tattoos

... life is what is left at the end of those victories and losses.

... life is what you make of it while it lasts.